Dating in Austin is a Nightmare!

Yosie & Abby on a solo date

Okay, before I start dragging men left and right, I have to take a quick moment to cancel myself. Yes, I may look like a princess-angel-fairy on the outside, but in my early post-breakup days, I definitely did my share of hoe-ing around and emotionally immature stuff.

So, to any men (and women) I’ve wronged in the past, my bad. I’m now way more self-aware, on my healing journey, and trying to be a better human. Enough about me. Let’s get to the good stuff.

Picture This:

You’re a 22-year-old Latina with an angel face and a killer rack, roaming Austin, swiping through every dating app in hopes of finding “the one.”

Like many girl bosses, I have standards… well, more like a list of what I want in a man. These days, I only ask for the bare minimum, literally the bare minimum. I don’t even expect flowers (though I love them, and fun fact, women have given me more flowers than men ever have). A simple coffee date? Totally fine.

But in Austin? With the epidemic of big, muscly, workaholic finance bros… we’ve got a situation.

Or should I say… a man-demic.

The Oldest Daughter Struggle

As the oldest daughter of immigrants, I basically grew up raising my siblings and my parents. So all I want in a partner is my list—times ten—and to not have to mother him.

But a lot of these “men” here? They all have one thing in common: the look. Not the body, not the clothes, no, it’s the eyes. The wandering eyes.

The Dating App Red Flags

Some of my favorite dating profile gems:

• “Long-term, open to short.”

• “Figuring out my dating goals.”

Girl… what?

Sure, women can play games too, but in Austin, especially with all the transplants, this “not-sure-what-I-want” energy is everywhere. And they love dating younger women because of our so-called “lack of experience.”

A Date to Remember (or Forget)

So I went on a date with this guy, over six feet, gorgeous hair, muscles for days, the whole package… except the package was cutting it a little close.

Now, as the evolved, mature woman I try to be, I thought: “No big deal. As long as he doesn’t think with it and knows how to use it.”

Plot twist: he did not know how to use it.

And I’m annoyed, not just for me, but for all women. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and they should be treated with respect. Period.

A Male Perspective

A male friend once told me: Men love the chase. No sexy times (yet), yes to flirting, but keep your coochie off the table until intentions are clear.

Now, I’m not shaming anyone, if you want to get cracked, get cracked. But respect yourself, and make sure he respects you too.

If He’s Not Clear With You…

He’s not worth it if:

• He’s vague about what he wants

• You feel anxious constantly

• He’s not reassuring you

Get rid of the stress.

“But Yosie, I got so attached! We had a connection! He seemed like marriage material!”

Girl, there are plenty of men out there and plenty of women out there for him like him.

Healing 101

Too angry? Punch a bag, dance, exercise, focus on YOU.

Too sad? Get out of bed. Yes, I’m talking to you with the oversized shirt and the unwashed hair. Go talk to the girls.

No friends? Leave the house. Go meet people. We do not have time to waste. There are facebook groups for everything now.

It’s okay to cry, scream, or sing karaoke at the top of your lungs, just make sure you’re doing something for you.

Remember: You Are Magic ✨

Women are so much more powerful than men realize. We build community. We nurture. We support.

And if you need a network of supportive women to hype you up after a breakup or a situationship, join ChuntiBratz. We’re here for you!

That’s it for my first dating post—many more to come!

Got advice? A horror story? Spill it below.

Stay Chunti, girlies 💖